That Year of Wondering

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Then and Now

Like so many of my twenty-somethings, I wonder about a lot of things. This year, in 2026, I’m wondering so much that I’m taking a minute to write down what I’m wondering about. I know for sure that I don’t wonder about the same things or even in the same way I wondered in 2021 which was only five years ago. It feels like an entire decade ago and a whole different me.

In 2026, I wonder about the wonders of the world. I wonder about the room I’ve made for myself in the wonderfulness that is my world. I don’t spend much time anymore wondering why life is or isn’t. This difference is so important. I could just wonder if I’ll be okay. I could use my time to doubt and question my life and my choices, but I don’t. Instead, I wonder about a world that is awesome, experiences that are inspiring, and all things that make me curious.

I used to wonder why the world couldn’t look how I needed it to. Now, I wonder how this amazing world came to be so amazing. I used to wonder what other people thought of me. Now, I wonder about cultures and the uniqueness of the ideas of people not like me. I used to wonder why I couldn’t have her body instead of mine. Now, I wonder about all the beautiful ways my body works for me. 

I used to wonder why I couldn’t have a new Bronco. Now, I wonder how to budget my travelling for 2027. I used to wonder how people got to go to so many places and concerts when I didn’t think I could. Now, I wonder how I will choose from all the amazing destinations, trips, and concert experiences that seem endlessly available. I used to wonder when the next thing would show up. Now, I wonder what I can do next. 

Before, I didn’t wonder about my grandparents too much. I used to wonder if my friends still wanted to be friends. Now, I wonder what they will want to do with me next. I used to wonder when I could escape my life into that book, movie, or podcast. Now, I wonder about the ideas they might spark. I used to wonder if I would ever find a life to love. Now, I feel the wonder of how much I love my life. I used to wait for new ideas I could adopt to find me. Now, I wonder how I’ll ever get through all the ideas I have.

A Year in the Life

One year. One year to me now is full of wonder. One year used to be how long I had to wait for something to change. It was just time in a void. This year, I see my life opened up more than last year. I see joy even more than before. I see this year as the year where I look further and think deeper and move with even more excitement. 

The cool part of my wondering is that it doesn’t matter what happens. I’ve learned from last year. I’ll learn from this year. Time remains a good friend of mine. Slow when it needs to be and just right otherwise.

My capacity to see one year as so crucial and yet just one of many is so big. An already lived amazing life with the possibility of more and more. How could one year mean so much? 

One year means seeing my awesome family as much as I can. It means seeing my friends and sharing my life with them. It means seeing and exploring amazing places. It means relaxing, breathing, dancing and swimming. It means baseball and music and concerts and… well, it means whatever I lean into and discover.

How important is it for me to wonder? If I didn’t wonder, I’d never see the next layer I need to peel back. I’d never think how I could do better, work smarter, help more, and make room for more wonder. And, this year, I’ll hold on to my friends. They are part of how I get to next year. I can let go of all that worries me and hold on to who and what helps me be free. This year is just one year of many years, but I already know it’s gonna be wonderful.

All my Wonder Years…