That’s When I’m Older

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When I’m Older

Obviously, by writing this blog as a twenty-something storyline, I’m focused on my twenties. In this decade, I finally feel the joy that was already in my life. This is when I started seeing the beauty in the world. The time when I decided how I wanted to live. It’s been amazing so far. In perfect rhythm in the present moment (how else do you live it?) I can look forward. Not dwelling. Just looking.

In my twenties, I’m traveling, writing, creating, learning how to incorporate my traveling into work, and spending time with my grandparents while I still have them. Later, in my thirties, in my forties, and beyond, what do I want? Who do I want to be? What do I see?

I see later differently now. I used to say “I’ll do that later.” Now, I think “Later, I’ll love that I did that”. Later, I can revisit that place as an older me with new ideas and fresh eyes. Later, I can see how all my favorite places have changed and grown. This is why my twenties are important. What I do later will be so awesome because of what I’m doing now.

I will appreciate more when I’m older what younger me did. I will be grateful for the time I spent loving, dancing, creating, and learning. I can look back and not regret. I will remember. My joy and sadness will be deep and meaningful. For the people I loved, for the places as they were, for the world as it was. All the imprints that don’t disappear.

Yes, the past should disappear. At least the mistakes already atoned for, the not truly missed opportunities, and the time spent wishing and hoping but not living should fade. The past should not fade from the people, places, and experiences that brought me here. They are the building blocks in my matrix. The parts that move me to the next. The pieces that keep me whole. Who I am moves into what I do and altogether, I become more. More of me will turn thirty, then forty, and all of me will move into more of what I want for my life.

Who Will She Be?

I don’t get to, and really don’t want to, know what happens next. I do get to look ahead to what I want and enjoy the journey. In my thirties, I see the opportunity to expand how I travel, see more of the hidden gems in the world, and help my parents experience at least second hand what the world holds. While I do this, I’ll help others travel more efficiently and bring more of the world to them.

I’ll also keep dancing, going to concerts, taking in great art, and writing. I’ll be someone who lives in love and joy. I’ll also be someone who feels sadness sometimes, but who also understands what collateral beauty is. I’ll know how to keep the threads of my life strong and full of meaning.

When I’m in my thirties and forties, I’ll care for my family and stay near them. I’ll go to far away places, too. I’ll take friends with me and go to see them. I’ll love my pets and spend precious time with them while I enjoy my time alone. I’m sure hot tea and K-Dramas will still be with me in whatever way I find them.

Who I’ll be is someone who loves fully, thinks deeply, and keeps moving. In whatever ways my life grows, I’ll see as much of the world as I can, share as much as I can through writing and talking and dancing, and help others in so many ways. My twenties have been, are, and will be amazing. The rest of my life will be, too. I get to meet the older me. I already know she’s fantastic.

Thankful I’m Growing Older…