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“I don’t have expectations to put off happy vibes or to receive happy vibes in return. My vibes are happiness.”
The world is brighter. It’s that simple. Since learning to appreciate life, it just looks sparkly. Just like my friend Carley, I’ve found my own glitter. What’s even better is that I want to share it. My sparkle is something that I want to be contagious. I’ve started smiling just because I can. I hug people because I want to. There is no hidden motivation to my new view of life. I don’t have expectations to put off happy vibes or to receive happy vibes in return. My vibes are happiness.
Sometimes I wonder about what it would be like to revisit the halls of my high school as an illuminated person. What would it feel like now with the exciting fear of learning and connecting instead of the anxious one? What would it feel like to meet that guy I used to like with all this glitter? The ghost of me didn’t sparkle, but this me does. (More on my ghost in That’s the Beginning). She’s still there with the imprints of the old feelings. This helps me appreciate my sparkle even more.
“All the cracks from the broken parts making room for the sparkles.”
How did she become me? How did this shift get me here? There isn’t just one reason, I’m sure of that. The sensation I get when I think of how I got here is like an explosion of the biggest glitter cannon you can imagine. All the cracks from the broken parts making room for the sparkles (More on this in That’s Broken). The dark parts are lit up by the reflections. It’s beautiful and it’s my life. Wow…
This girl before me. I celebrate her. She’s taught me so much. All of those emotions that I finally let myself feel are now part of my lit up world. It’s still strange to think of the dark parts and the cracks as necessary strands that weave into my matrix. We’re told that we can get “over” broken parts. We can put them behind us. But, I disagree. My past can disappear (See how in That’s My Disappearing Life). Why? Because nothing that has changed my life is really over or behind. This is why all the rest can be.
My life has been broken open so it can be illuminated. It’s not a life to be dwelled on. It’s a life that should be appreciated. I love life more because it kicks and pinches. The twists and turns and punches make for brighter lights. I don’t want to work around the unexpected and painful. I want to work through them. To go through means that I get to see all of the sparkles that surround me. They’re beautiful. Can you see yours?
How do you sparkle?
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