That’s Inside

Read Time: 5 minutes

Out There

I love looking out. Out of windows. Out of open doors. Out from a balcony. More life is out there and I want to see it. I want to have adventures and experiences out there. I’ve already started my life outside. It’s awesome. Out there is where I’ll find all the places and all the people that make up the beautiful world I get to live in.

I’m no longer afraid of being out in the world. As I’ve shifted my perspective, I’ve noticed something. People live life looking out there, but they don’t go. They wonder what is beyond the yard. Are people waiting like them? Are they wishing like them? Some people never find out. They live looking out, but they stay in.

I’ve also noticed that people talk like they’ve seen the world. They act like they know. But so many of them have never seen it. Those same people like to tell others what it’s like outside. They also like to tell them what they should know and like about all the places beyond here. Places they have never been. But they’ve heard about them. Those places are great. “You should go”, they say. “Want to come, too?”, I say. They’re good. I can just tell them all about it. Sigh…

I do listen. I listen a lot. What I often hear are stories about people in other places and how they live. I hear about what these people believe and what they are doing. Good things and bad things. I wonder how people can really know these things about other people. The news? The internet? The confusing part is that the news and the internet are either exactly the same thing, or an oxymoron. What is real about life out there? 

From Here

Our society and culture do not seem to have a good place to teach us what to expect in the world. As I’ve mentioned, I may be somewhat spontaneous in my trips and my experiences, but I like a good plan. I want a place to read that has a first hand account that’s not just a video from someone’s phone. With social media, no one seems to think first hand is necessary. They told me it was this or that based on camera one or camera two, so it must be one or the other. Not helpful, ya’ll. 

I haven’t been successful at finding a nice short list of where to look for the actual information. Where to read. Where to listen. There’s so many places and options. Sometimes I think the information about those places and options are just telling me what the speaker assumes I want to know. Not what they’ve actually experienced. Maybe that’s the same thing. I don’t know. It just seems like the world is only what everyone’s phone captures. What did it feel like? How did it smell? I can only know by going outside. I have to get there from here.

Have you ever been to a landmark or other wonder of the world and stopped to look with everyone else? What is going on when you stop to look? Is everyone taking it in through their phone? Is that a good way to experience it? I like a good travel video just as much as the next traveller. But I also don’t always need or want to share my experience or even document it for myself. It will never be the experience I am actually having in the video. Why would I deny myself the experience in its natural expression?

People look out and believe what they want to believe and expect me to see it the same way. It’s comforting, I guess. It’s easy to make others see it. So easy it’s fascinating. It’s easy to scare people. It’s easy to be talked out of things and to be talked into them. What is out there is mysterious and scary, but I still want to see it for myself. No matter what people tell me about it. No matter what they think I should think.

In and Out

I start from the inside. Not inside my apartment or my town. I start with me. Me looking out just like other people. I start by wondering what is out there. But I don’t just look out. I go out. I go out knowing that what is outside is not something I will know for certain. Not something I can ever completely learn. The only place that can be fully known to me is inside myself. I have the opportunity to know me so well that any unknown is open to be discovered. Knowing how I believe and knowing what I want out of life makes this possible.

Uncertainty about life is a given. But it won’t stop me. I won’t let the “what if’s” keep me from going. Some “what if’s” are good. What if that place is extraordinary? What if going and having that experience opens up so many more? Yes! Follow those “what if’s”. But please don’t follow the ones that say something will be disappointing. Don’t believe that it’s a waste of time to see beautiful parts of the world. 

I know for certain that inside me is someone who believes in her own ideas about the world and what is in it. I know that what society tells me is only a guide. I know that the anxiety I used to attach to my life telling me it has to turn out a certain way is misguided. I know that life is full of the beautiful and the terrible. As long as I am certain about myself, I will not be disappointed in anything I experience. I may change my mind and form a different opinion, but humanity will always provide lessons and new perspectives. 

It all starts with me and what I know I come with on the inside. The ability to look out and wonder. The ability to go out and see. I’m not going to waste my ability to learn for myself. To use what is inside to see everything I can on the outside. One world. One shot. I’m moving out.

Are you coming?