That’s Boredom (and All the Other Things I No Longer Experience)

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Common Thread

A strange side effect of being in the mindset of living a full life as a whole person is never being bored. This surprised me when I realized it. I don’t think this is a coincidence of my twenties. I know plenty of people who are in their twenties or older (sometimes a lot older) who live with some degree of boredom.

I’ve actually tested this realization out. It’s not just that I don’t get bored, I also don’t seem to get burned out on anything. I still experience the feeling of not wanting a good thing to end (like any season of Bridgerton) but I never get tired of anything. It’s odd, honestly. I used to experience levels of disappointment when something didn’t live up to whatever I came into it believing. But now, with very few expectations for anything, I don’t seem to experience frustration for long at all. I’m just never bored.

My parents still get bored and restless, but I don’t. Social media doesn’t frustrate me. I don’t give too much of myself to it. I only use it to connect or educate myself and the education part is within set boundaries. 

My mindset seems to be the common thread for all of the following things I no longer experience. Here are just a few:

In contrast, or just to explain a little better, not being any of these things doesn’t mean:

Never Bitter – Only Better

Situations make me angry, and life can be exhausting. I’m better with anger than I used to be. It is now a familiar feeling and not something I avoid. I think that, as a woman, I’m being good to myself to acknowledge the anger of marginalization and sometimes not being heard. I need to understand those feelings. They help me keep up my boundaries and see situations more clearly.

Ironically, getting angry helps me not judge others. It’s in the bitterness that judgment comes. For me, feeling anger and knowing I’m angry allows me to deal with the situation. Being mad is feeling something in its raw exposure. Realizing that someone is not being respectful in the moment is the best example. When my face gets hot and my fists clench, I know that I’m feeling disrespected. 

I can deal with the situation and the person when I allow myself to feel the emotion. I realize that their disrespectful action is disappointing. Not them. Attaching disappointment to the whole of a person is, in my opinion, a form of disrespect. I have learned to give space for humanness. 

Backing up just a bit, I’m not saying that I don’t express anger when I feel it. I do. I will tell people when what they have done has hurt. Then, I can do what I need to do for myself. I don’t want to take on the responsibility of leaving the anger to form into bitterness. It’s not right to blame people for what I have not said and leave them believing that “it’s all good”. 

I’m enjoying this new mindset and its strange side effects. It’s freeing, it’s clear, and it’s exciting. Life isn’t boring. It’s better. Quiet and peaceful isn’t boring. Solitude isn’t boring. People are never boring. If somehow I start believing life isn’t full again, I’ll know my mindset has backtracked. I’ll know that I’ve let my curiosity stop and my adventurousness stall. So, cheers to good side effects. I hope you find some.

Here’s to never being bored!